I Just Made You Say Underwear — MeUndies

I see that I’ve taken quite the hiatus: 3 months really flew by. I’ve been busy! Life is tough. I can’t just throw it all out of the way to start writing about what underwear I’m wearing right now.

Or can I?

I’ve said before that this blog is actually pretty expensive to run. Hosting on isn’t free, but it’s not putting me off, but the real expense comes in actually buying all this stuff. And I do actually go through and purchase everything I’ve reviewed on this site. I want to get the full experience: the real product, the real flow. I’m not here for freebies.

Actually I would absolutely love freebies. If anyone wants to give me free stuff to review, please do.

But all this comes at a price, which is the actual cost of goods. I’m not sure what I can do about it other than to ask for free stuff, which I just did. We’ll see how well that works out. The silver lining is I generally purchase things with various credit cards, and get the associated rewards. I rack these up and buy more stuff with the earnings. Some purchases can get me as much as 5% cash back, or I could be working my way towards a $500 or $1000 spending reward bonus. It doesn’t quite pay for itself, but it certainly helps.

Figuring out which card I should be using for which purchases can be time consuming and confusing, though. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bought something with a card that gives 1% back, when I could have used a different card for 5%. It’s infuriating!

I figured other people probably also have this issue. Even more, I bet other people don’t even know they have this issue. That’s why I took the hiatus, and started working on I would love for all of you to check it out, so get signed up for the beta that we’ll be releasing soon.

I came up with the idea while wearing some MeUndies I bought for this blog post. So…you know…that’s a segue.

If you haven’t heard of MeUndies by now, you might be living under a proverbial rock. They advertise everywhere on the internet, they’re the ads with super attractive models (of both sexes) wearing skimpy fun looking underwear. You can’t miss them.

I find their website harder to use than it could be. I can’t quite put my finger on what’s wrong, and maybe it’s just me, but I find the menu layout a bit…off. They put a lot of focus on the images of the underwear, and probably not enough towards navigating and buying the underwear. I get why: You’ve got these pictures of hot young models, and people like looking at those. But that’s a double-edged sword: they’ve made it basically impossible to shop their site in an office setting. Even checking this site at home I felt like a pre-teen worried his mom would find his playboys.

I want to make it clear: the pictures aren’t graphic at all. They’re just provocative. It’s a good looking site, but don’t check it in your open office setting.

I’ve said before I’m a boxers guy, so I ordered 2 pairs of those, one in purple, and one in a green and red “OG”, reminiscent of an African flag. According to their sizing chart, I’m on the small end of an XL (ladies).

They come via USPS, fairly quickly and in a nice sealed bag. This is nice because I want to believe that no one is fondling my underwear before I get them. I know people have probably touched them, but with the sealed bag I can believe that no ones had their grubby hands on them.

Me, basically

When I put on the OG pair, the first thing my fiancee said is “why are you wearing Christmas underwear in August?”. That, I think, is pretty telling: what was supposed to be an homage to African culture ended up being reminiscent of an old bearded white man in a weird suit. Oh well, underwear shouldn’t be homages.

They are nice underwear, overall. I still wear them weekly. If I had to complain, I would say the XL is slightly too long for my tastes, and maybe slightly oversized. I should probably order the L next time. If you’re in between sizes, I think trying the lower size might be preferable.

Overall, MeUndies are a decent purchase. I’d recommend them if you’re looking to buy your skivvies online.

And please check out!


Losing My Religion: Forrest and Harold

Two months ago we spent a weekend in New York City. I’d never been before, and while exploring the city was fun, it was quite a bit different than I expected. It’s not exactly what you see on TV: for one thing, I didn’t find any salsa companies there.

Transportation around the city was difficult. I’m told we should have used the subways, which were scary and foreign to us. We ended up using the Yellow Cabs and Lyft to get around town. They were slow and expensive, in general.  Next time we go we’ll figure out the whole subway labyrinth. Seems way more efficient.

It didn’t help that we flew into LaGuardia, which I’m convinced is one of Dante’s circles. I’ve never seen a more miserable excuse for an airport. I’ve never seen an airport bathroom with only 2 stalls. LaGuardia feels like a performance art project on human misery.

Pictured: Hades

New York is also very much a cash-based city, which I’m not used to. I’m pretty sure it’s to dodge taxes, but for whatever reason, many of their businesses don’t take credit. Here in Austin, everyone takes credit cards. Food trucks, street vendors, t-shirt shops, bars, Everyone. It’s very convenient for me, as I don’t normally carry cash. My bank in not located in Texas, so getting cash means fees, and I cary a front pocket wallet with no space for it.

We had a hell of a time getting a slice of pizza. I don’t think we ever actually got one. We got a bagel, though. Don’t let anyone from New York lie to you: it’s just a bagel. It was a good bagel, but it wasn’t like, head and shoulders above any other bagel. Tasted pretty much like every other bagel I’ve ever had.

I don’t understand having cash: it just seems like something that can get lost. If I lose a credit card, no harm: I just cancel the card. Losing cash is just money down the toilet. But there’s another side of me that wants to have that freedom. I’m always afraid of having eaten at a restaurant to find out afterwards they only take cash. That’s a nightmare.

Upon leaving, sometime between getting out of the cab to the third pit of hell and getting to the front of the line to drop off our bags, I lost my Drivers License. I’m sure you can imagine the panic that overwhelmed me in the moment I noticed. It seemed that holding my hotel key in my wallet, behind my license, stretched it out enough to allow the license to slide out somewhere. Some say it’s in LaGuardia to this day.

So when we got home, after dealing with extra scrutiny at the airport, and then later the Texas DMV, I decided that this could never happen again: I need a new wallet. So I jumped on Facebook and refreshed until I found an ad for someone that sold wallets. I fell upon Forrest and Harold.

These wallets are pretty cool. I went with the Signature Money Clip Slim version.


It has a money clip for me to carry cash. They have different color combinations, as you can see. That’s a good look: I bought the version above, the inside is a nice shade of blue. It also has an external pocket on the back side, which is a nice touch. It’s holding 7 different cards, plus a dollar in the clip very comfortably. It could hold much more cash, and probably a few more cards if I wanted to overfill the slots. The best part is I only paid ~30 dollars for it. That’s a decent price for a nicely made wallet.

Check Forrest and Harold out. Good stuff.


Bamboozled: PACT Organic

9 months ago I started this blog because I wanted an excuse to buy stupid shit on the internet. I didn’t really have a goal in mind, I just wanted to buy a cool belt and I wanted a new thing to write about, so here we are.

It’s become something more. I have, literally, tens of readers chomping at the bit for me to buy random stuff, and then drone on about something unrelated for a few paragraphs until I finally describe the thing I bought. My only real rule is that I stick to the theme: I buy things that are advertised on social media. I expect these companies to be mostly Online Only, and mostly standalone sites: I don’t really review things I buy on Amazon, for instance. And I’m generally not clicking on a Macy’s ad, because that’s not interesting to me, or you.

So when I come across a company I’ve never heard of, and they’re selling T-shirts, which I always want to find the best of, I generally pull the trigger. I want to tell you that I’ve found the perfect shirt. I need to get that information to the fans.


I found PACT Organic on a Facebook ad. Their shtick is that all the cotton used in their clothing is from Fair Trade, Organic farmers. Neither of those things are super important to me, but it’s hard to be against any of that. I searched around their site, and I found the one T-shirt they sell, a crew neck. I ordered quickly: It was only $15.99! That’s not even on sale! This is the cheapest item I’ve ever purchased for this site. My bank account thanks you, PACT.

On order, it asked if I’d like to donate a dollar to the Organic farmer movement (the charity had a name, I don’t remember what it is). Since this shirt was so cheap, I went for it. If organic farms mean I get T-shirts for half what I normally spend, then organic farms it is.

I ordered this one:


I realize now that this color is Heather Grey. When I bought it, I thought I was buying a light blue shirt. Looking back at the website, it even says Heather Grey, which means I’m just an idiot who can’t read and doesn’t know colors.

The shirt arrived incredibly fast: I ordered Saturday, and it was at my front door Monday. Completely unexpected: I didn’t even buy faster shipping. Opening the box threw me off a bit, though. Not just the color, but the packaging. It was in a box that was made for retail: UPC code, Hang tabs, everything. I’m not used to this. I’m used to getting a bag with a shirt folded up in it, and maybe a letter from the CEO thanking me for the purchase. Instead I got a PACT bumper sticker and a flyer for a way to get free socks. Why doesn’t this add up? What is this company?

The shirt itself was very soft, but fit oddly. The neck was far too high for my taste, the shoulders didn’t fit right, and it hung weird. It’s more of an undershirt, and not a particularly comfortable one. I don’t want to bash the shirt for everyone: my body shape just didn’t match what this shirt was throwing down. I’m sorry to say that this is the first time (on this blog, at least) that I returned an item that I bought. It was cheap, but cheap isn’t free, and this shirt was no good.

They gave me a refund, but did not return my dollar donation. I think the shirt is just a way to trick people into donating a dollar to organic farmers. That’s fine: keep fighting the good fight.

I was at Whole Foods the next day (yes I shop at Whole Foods, it is very convenient for me), and happened to walk through the weirdo section with Bath Bombs and Homeopathy water or whatever. I saw a familiar item: THE SHIRT I JUST RETURNED. I could have just picked one of these shirts up on my next quinoa trip. I was thrown for a loop. Bamboozled. I don’t believe I fell for this ad. I thought this was a cool new internet startup ready to turn the world on its head. I’m a fraud.

Turns out you can also pick up the Mushroom Coffee at Whole Foods if you want. What am I even doing here? I’m no better than the weird older cashier with the braided beard. He probably has better insights.


The Man in the Mirror: BeardBrand


Remember that scene in the matrix where Neo notices he doesn’t have a socket in the back of his head when he’s plugged into the Matrix? I’ve thought about that scene a lot in the past 18 years. I don’t obsess over the movie*, but it’s a really interesting idea. In the Matrix, you are what your brain projects you to be. Whatever your brain thinks you look like, that’s what you see, and feel about yourself. It’s a really crazy premise to wrap your mind around; especially because it turns out it’s true in real life as well.

I’ve read some studies that say that the person you see in the mirror each morning isn’t you: It’s your brains projection of yourself. I mean obviously not entirely, as you’ll see zits even if you didn’t know about them before. But the overall self image (am I fat, skinny, attractive, hideous, etc.) is all about what your brain thinks about itself, and it will hide or change certain imperfections in order to maintain it’s world view. It’s one reason why you tend to look different in pictures than what you think you look like, and one reason you hate listening to your own voice on that Podcast recording you’re practicing for.

This is getting vaguely intellectual. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t picture myself as a guy with a beard.

I haven’t used a razor on my face in a few years. I still subscribe to Dollar Shave Club, but that’s mostly for other toiletries and my fiance’s legs. I either use a beard trimmer or nothing. However, in my head, I’m still baby-faced. The beard is just a phase**. It’s not that I don’t see it in the mirror, obviously I do, but it took me a while to realize that when people see me for the first time, they categorize me as “bearded guy”. It still kinda weird to wrap my head around, as to me, I’m a guy just trying out growing a beard to see how it feels (for the last few years).

While coming to grips with my new self-image, I was watch Binging With Babish on YouTube. If you haven’t seen this channel yet, I highly recommend it. It’s a cooking channel where he makes recipes from TV, Movies, and even Video Games. Anyway, on a behind the scenes episode he answers the question of how he has such a full, illustrious beard, and he mentioned that he uses an assortment of beard shampoos, softeners, and oils. Realizing that my beard could also use some filling out and extra style, I decided to pursue some products of my own. So that’s how we got here.

I had heard of BeardBrand on Reddit a while back, and I know from there that they had an appearance on Shark Tank, which is that one show with the investors. I don’t watch a ton of TV, but as a consumer of entrepreneurial products, it is an interesting concept to me. The owners of BeardBrand are fairly active on Reddit, and even have their own subreddit, /r/beardbrand. Am I going to post this there? You’re god damned right I am.

First hurdle was what to order. I’m no beard expert. You don’t need to be a mechanic to drive a car. I decided that I’d like my beard to be softer, and so beard softener seemed correct. And that is supposed to be used along side beard shampoo, so I got that too. A cleaner beard can’t hurt.

Second hurdle: what scent? Should I match scents? Does Lumber Yard match with Tree Ranger? I have no idea what any of these things smell like. The internet needs scratch and sniff technology. I decided to go with the same scent, Tree Ranger, for both products, because that seemed to be the best way to not screw this up.

The products are a bit pricey. I paid 11 dollars for each 2-ounce bottle of this stuff, plus shipping. That’s about the same price per ounce as Johnny Walker Blue.

Basically Beard Shampoo

Granted, you don’t use much of it per wash, and the 11 dollars should last you quite a bit longer than a bottle of whiskey lasts in front of your alcoholic uncle Carl.

I received the products a few days later, and started using them the next day. The biggest thing I can say is these things are POTENT. When I got out of the shower my fiancé could smell me from the next room. It’s a good scent, I very much like the smell of whatever a Tree Ranger is, but it will knock you back if you’re not ready.

After a couple weeks of use, the fiancé says that my beard feels softer. It’s hard for me to tell. I can say that I’ve felt more comfortable letting it grow out, and so it is definitely fuller. I think I made a mistake in not also ordering beard oil and balm, which are used to moisturize and style the beard. I was under the impression that it would grow in and look great, and while it’s okay looking, it’s a bit puffy. I feel like I should style it like I style my hair now.

Fuller, but frizzy

I got a chance to meet up with the BeardBrand founders here in Austin, TX. They sent out an email, presumably to all their customers that live in or around Austin, that they were going to be in town, at a bar, and that we should come meet up. So we said “why not?”, and went out to Weather Up, which is a bar on the east side. They have good drinks, it’s nice. Go.

I didn’t actually talk to them, though. I did notice the bearded guys sitting in the corner booth, but it was an awkward place to walk up and introduce yourself. They all would have been at crotch height: I didn’t feel comfortable. I’m awkward. So we hung out at the bar for a bit, gave my card out to a guy we ended up conversating with, and then left.

All in all, if you’re looking for beard products, I would recommend the BeardBrand line. I don’t have a ton of beard products to compare them to, but these seem like good ones. I’ll probably try out the beard balm and oil next.



Four Sigmatic Follow Up

I just want to do a quick follow up on my Four Sigmatic review. I originally bought a 30 pack of the Mushroom Coffee with Lion’s Mane and Chaga. I feel like I was a little harsh in my original review (I called it Dirt Coffee a few times, if I recall), so I figured I’d let you know the rest of my experience.


It’s been a few weeks now, and I’ve drank this at least once a day, to the point where I’m just about out of it. I did this because I wanted to not waste 39 dollars, but also that it felt a bit different, and I wanted to see if it was a placebo that would eventually wear off. Obviously, the stuff still has coffee in it, so there is a mild caffeine hit, but I do get a more calm, cool-headed feeling than I get from energy drinks. This could be due to the fact that I cut my caffeine consumption down to 1/5th of what it was. There’s not a huge drop off in energy levels, either.

The stuff has eventually grown on me. I haven’t had an energy drink since I started drinking it every morning. This is a big deal, as I’ve basically lived off the things for years. This stuff really works. I won’t lie, I do tend to grab a cold-brew coffee in the afternoon, still, but that’s mostly out of convenience: I’d drink a second cup if I didn’t have to boil water, and then wait for it to cool down enough for my sensitive lips.

I liked it so much that I just ordered more: 40 servings of the Lion’s Mane, and then another 40 servings of the Cordyceps type, which is supposed to have more energetic properties.

Use that discount code until maybe they’ll give me my own! (They won’t)

It still doesn’t taste great, to me. Honestly instant black coffee isn’t great either. But it’s effects are worth it, in my opinion. I’d really recommend giving it a shot.


On Motivation: Four Sigmatic

If I had to guess what the most popular blog post topic was, I’d guess it was motivation. It’s probably the most popular book topic as well. People who buy self-help books are always looking into how to keep moving forward towards their goals. It can’t just be hard work, there’s got to be a secret to it. And anyone successful has got something to say on the subject. “You’ve just got to push through the wall”, they say, laughing maniacally. “Use my proven system to keep ‘Getting Things Done'”, or “you have to learn ‘The Power Of Habit'”, or even “you need to automate your life to have the Four Hour Workweek you’re dreaming of”. I’ve read (or, at least, listened to on Audible), a bunch of these books in the past 8 months. I’ve learned quite a bit about different systems and methods for staying on my game. And I can say conclusively that I know how the rich and successful stay as motivated and high performing as they do.

It’s drugs, guys. It’s always been drugs.

That’s not to say that these systems don’t have merit. Training yourself not to waste time surfing the internet, or to just do things that take less than two minutes right now, are definitely good tidbits and will help you manage your time better. But no one’s doing all this without stimulants of some sort. Everyone’s got their favorite. For Wall Street Bankers and Instagram Models, it’s cocaine. Mine’s the tried and true caffeine.

And when I say favorite, I’m not lying. I drink an extraordinarily unhealthy amount of caffeine per day to get myself through my day job. I generally drink two of these per day:

Sweet nectar

Each of these Rockstar Energy Drinks has 240mg of caffeine in them, and so if you do the math, and add in the other shots I get in from other sources, I’m taking in over half a gram a day. And the worst part is, I get home and I’m still tired. Probably from my heart racing for 8 hours. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But I went to one and he said that’s almost certainly the reason.

So I was listening to Tim Ferriss’ podcast, because he talks a lot about what successful people do in their lives, and I want to hear them spill the beans that they have some cool new Limitless drug. They never bring up the drugs, I think it might be a faux pas. But he does advertise some drugs, specifically Mushroom Coffee from Four Sigmatic. The ad basically says that he drinks it, it’s changed his morning routine, it’s got less caffeine, and keeps him going all day. That sounds promising.

So, I threw down the 39.99 plus shipping to get a month’s supply of Mushroom Coffee. That’s the smallest amount you can get, and I was a little uneasy about that. I kinda wanted to just buy like…one? It’s probably better that I got 30, and I’ll get to why a little later, and shipping 1 packet of instant coffee is probably not economical. I get it. But fear set in after I did this.

I hate mushrooms. They’re disgusting. What am I doing for this blog? Like is this even entertaining? Tim says it still tastes like coffee. I don’t even drink coffee.

So shipping said it was going to take a week, but it actually showed up 2 days earlier. Happy Birthday to me. So I got home from work, heated up some water, and gave this thing a try. Lets get MOTIVATED.

The orange cup is full of water for when I want to throw up because I ingested mushrooms

So, first thing, when you open the packet, it smells vaguely of dirt. Like, not an overpowering stench, not unbearable, but it’s definitely there. Instant coffee doesn’t always smell the best either, so I moved forward.

The first taste…basically dirt again. Like, I don’t eat dirt, but putting this stuff in my mouth is basically what I imagine having a mouthful of dirt tastes like. It’s oddly easy to ignore the taste, though. It’s not good, but it’s like 7 ounces of water and some dirt, and you can get through it.

So, the effects are decent. It acts basically the same as caffeine, though I don’t get jittery and I feel more comfortable sitting down for longer. This might be (read: probably is) a placebo effect. I’m okay with that, lets ride this crazy train out. I sometimes have a problem where I can’t sit still, probably due to the mountain of caffeine in my system at any given time, and this doesn’t make me feel like that. It only has ~50mg of caffeine in it, rather than my normal 240mg.

I’ve continued drinking the dirt coffee every morning for the past week. It keeps me going ~4-6 hours, basically wearing off around lunchtime. I grab a High Brew or something for the rest of the workday. I’ve effectively reduced my caffeine intake from 500+mg per day to less than 200mg, and I don’t really feel any worse for wear. I don’t necessarily get the rush of energy that I’m used to from the Rockstar, but a consistent awake and energized feeling for several hours is pretty nice. I haven’t noticed any real changes at work, though I have felt more inclined to get up and do things at home.

So what’s the active ingredient in this stuff? Well, after reading the package, I can tell you it’s made from Chaga and Lion’s Mane, two mushrooms harvested from Finland forests, and…Arabica coffee. I could probably get the same effect from just drinking instant coffee. Maybe I’ll try that as a control.

So, would I recommend this? I mean…I’m still drinking it every morning. It doesn’t taste good, at all, but I might buy more. We’ll see how long I can ride out its effects. I’d say give it a shot.


Sometimes a Rose is a Rose: Buck Mason

I want to let you all know that I’m writing this hopped up on Chaga and Lion’s Mane right now. I’ll get into why next article. But if things get a little weird, that might be why.

This guy might also be on some Lion’s Mane. He’s also wearing a shirt I bought.

I’ve stated this before, but I’m a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy. I don’t like thinking much about what I’m going to wear each day, or how it looks on me. I know t-shirts and jeans look fine, so I stick with that look. Some others take this sort of attitude to the extreme (see: Steve Jobs and the black turtleneck), and I don’t fault them for it; less time thinking about what to wear in the morning gets you on to bigger and better things.

However, the drawback is I never quite know when to replace my t-shirts and/or jeans. Earlier on in the life of this blog I explained I was down to 3 pairs of jeans, because I hadn’t replaced any of the jeans that had worn crotch holes, that I was forced to rid myself of. I have a similar issue with t-shirts: I have some shirts that are over 10 years old, that I still wear regularly. I’m not sure that I should.

I have shirts with bleach stains, and others with holes in the collar. I say that I’ll use them as gym shirts, but I don’t go to the gym often enough for that sort of promise. I even have a shirt with a full body shot of Jared Padalecki. You probably think I’m joking.


But now that I’ve realized the issue, I can take steps to solve it. I’m not getting rid of this particular shirt (it’s got some sentimental value), but some of the others? To the Facebook ads!

I bought a shirt off Mack Weldon that I really liked a few months back. I didn’t write about it, because I had already done a Mack article, and it was too soon to start repeating myself. When I saw the ad for Buck Mason, I was like “2 named 3 syllable clothing company? Ooooh tell me more”. Then the Advertisement said “The Softest Shirt Ever!”, and I said “that’s a pretty big claim, Buck-o. I’ve had some seriously soft shirts in my day”. And at that point my credit card was already out, because I either need the softest shirt ever, or to be disappointed. How else does one sleep?

Buck Mason has a large array of options, but it’s pretty easy to find your way through. I knew I wanted t-shirts, so I went there and found the shirt they were advertising. I actually bought 2 different styles: the Crew Neck “Slub” Tee, at $28, and the aforementioned “softest” “Pacific Costa” Crew Tee at $42 dollars. Shipping was $5.
So, 42 dollars is a lot for a t-shirt. It isn’t branded, it’s a completely flat color, with no pattern or even a logo anywhere. 28 dollars is a little more on the nose. Either way, I bought them, because I needed to know what the softest shirt ever felt like. I want to be draped in velvet, if that were socially acceptable.

A guy who is obviously not me wearing the softest shirt ever. Note that he is not, in fact, draped in velvet.

The shirts came a few days later. Normal shipping, nothing special. I tried the shirts on, and at first I kinda hated them, but they were all creased and wrinkled from the shipping. Once washed, they fit nicely, and they are currently hanging in my closet. I gave an older shirt to my dog to lay on. She peed on it a few days later.

So, I know you’re asking in your head: “How was it? How was the softest shirt ever??”. It was just a shirt, dude. I think they’re going a little overboard on the softest ever piece: I’ve had softer shirts. Maybe it’s the softest one they’ve ever sold, I don’t know how they’re qualifying “ever”. For $75 dollars, I probably overpaid significantly for the shirts. But…I mean they’re still in the closet, I’m not going to return them. I like them.



Like, just, what…:Birddogs


I consider Eminem a contemporary of mine. I don’t know him or anything, but just looking at the way our lives have progressed, we’re definitely following a similar timeline. “Oh ho!”, you scoff, “What could you and Marshall Mathers possibly have in common?”. Well, first, who says “Oh ho!”? What is this, Victorian England? Are you going to rattle on about the new-fangled steam engines next? That’s weird. You’re weird.

Second, we’ve got a lot in common. We’re both working hard every day to improve the rap game. He may have a bit of a leg up at the moment, but I’m dropping flows everyday in my bathroom mirror, just trying to make it work. It’s basically 8 Mile set in a middle class apartment in Austin, TX. But probably the biggest thing we have in common is neither of us have been Cleaning Out Our Closets since the early 2000’s.

Closet cleaning is a ton of tiny, agonizing decisions. “Am I going to wear this shirt again?” is a hard question to answer. Sometimes you have to be hard on yourself: you know that swirly spotted button down never looked good on you, and was never in fashion. But you bought it and therefore telling yourself to get rid of it is ultimately an affront to your character. Saying “those pants don’t fit anymore” is either giving up on your fitness goals or taking a risk that you won’t give up later. “Yeah it’s ripped and faded but I still wear it”…now you’re just being cheap.

And then once you’re done, you realize how little you actually had. I thought I was good on gym shorts (as, until recently, I didn’t actually go to the gym), but once I got rid of the ones that don’t fit and were horribly torn, I was down to one pair. Rewearing the same gym shorts every day might be illegal in some countries. So, it was to the internet to find some new ones.

I was originally going to get shorts from Mack Weldon, who I have reviewed before. Their products are high quality, but in the name of new experiences (and new blog posts), I decided to hit Facebook and look for an ad. The first site I came across was Birddogs. I didn’t know what I was getting into.


This is the front page I was greeted with. I was in: finally a pair of gym shorts with a sense of humor.

Browsing through the “shorts” section, The shorts are all pretty much the same style, in different color combinations. Many are in short supply, with ship dates in the future or limited sizing available. These are clearly labeled, which is awesome, and much better than finding out after you order, ahem. One of the best parts about these shorts is you can order them in 3 different lengths. As a tall guy, the tendency towards shorter shorts in today’s styles has left me in some weird spots. Those shorts that end at your mid-thigh are covering my legs just past the ass. It’s embarrassing.

I chose the longest length in the “Chester Copperpotts” (The names are all ridiculous. The whole site is ridiculous). This ran me around $55 plus tax. This is about mid-range for gym shorts, I’ve found. The cheapest gym shorts at Dick’s is about $25, Lu Lu Lemon shorts are $70-80. The shorts arrived later that week. And that’s where things get a bit weirder. As I opened the box, I see this:


And that is fucking hilarious. And then I kept opening the box.


The inside has these ridiculous reviews. My favorite was on the right in this picture: “Hey guys I’m still waiting on shorts I ordered in Summer 2016. Each time I call they say they are literally shipping out next week”. I didn’t post all of them, just in case you want to be surprised by these reviews when you order yours.

The shorts themselves are pretty great. They have a liner, which I wasn’t quite expecting but is nice on the jibblies while running. The draw string is pre-crossed (I’m not sure how to describe this), so tightening the shorts doesn’t bunch up the waistband, though it’s a little weird tying them if you’re not used to it (you don’t need to do the first cross and pull of a bow knot: it’s done for you). The normal pockets are a good size for a large phone, and there’s also 2 zipper pockets for keeping your wallet or a small set of keys safe. These are perfect. Your wallet won’t be bouncing around when you are: it’s kept secure and tight close to your hip.

Overall: if you’re looking for shorts, I recommend these ones. I’ll probably pick up another pair sometime soon.

One more thing: The blog on follows along with the rest of the advertising: it’s absurd and doesn’t really follow along with trying to sell gym shorts. Give it a read, you might enjoy it.


Coming Soon: More Stuff

I’ve been busy the past few weeks (months?) doing absolutely nothing for this blog. That’s about to change. I’m going to do things for this blog soon, and more consistently.

Get ready for me to buy more stupid crap and write about it. I think my next post is on some gym shorts. That should be riveting. You’ll pay for the whole seat but you’ll only need the edge.

Anyway, I appreciate all of you reading this. Especially you, web crawlers and malware surfers. The hits from India and The Ukraine make me feel like I truly have an international audience.


Waking Up Is Hard To Do — Brooklyn Bedding

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been trying to save some money recently, and as such I haven’t bought anything of note. The whole theme of this blog is around me buying stuff and reviewing it, and so…well you see the conundrum. I guess I could review my groceries each week. That’s a steady stream of content, at least. Why am I saving money? Well, I’m getting married, and it turns out weddings are expensive. Who Knew?

Everyone. Everyone knew.

I miss the writing, though. I know these all end up being me just rambling for a bit, and then talking about some fashion or home accessory I bought, but it is quite fun to write. I make myself laugh. I’s more like a stupid face and some extra air coming out of my nose. When you’re alone in your office staring at a computer screen, that’s what laughing is.

So I realized the last article I said I’d review my mattress. I bought it a little over a year ago, which you’d think was too long ago to remember. But a mattress is a big purchase, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I’ve also had over a year to sleep on the thing and tell you how it’s held up to scrutiny. This is prime writing material. I can get like..8, maybe 10 sentences out of that.

This story starts with back problems, as so many do. I’d wake up every morning in pain, to the point where I was pretty sure my fiance’ was beating me in my sleep. I’d understand once, but every night seemed a little overboard. We needed counselling.

Then I’d realized that it had been 10 years since I bought my last mattress, and I got that from Sam’s Club. That mattress was comfortable, but Sam’s is not a “buy it for life” sort of store, and this mattress was on its last legs. I cancelled the counselling, finding that our money would be better spent on a new mattress.

The one thing I wanted to avoid in this new mattress journey is haggling. If you’re young and have never purchased a new mattress, buying one from a mattress store (e.g. Mattress Firm, Mattress Farm, Mattress Barn, Basically any store with the word Mattress in it) works sort of like buying a car: the “sticker” prices are set very high and you’re expected to negotiate down. Obviously you can just pay sticker if you don’t want to, but mattresses tend to be marked up 3-400%. You’re getting ripped off if you don’t.

Buying a mattress isn’t nearly as fun as buying a car, either. Test driving the mattresses is an awkward experience. I wanted to get around all this. I was going to order online.

I had heard of Casper mattresses before starting, and wanted to give them a shot.  They tend to have a setup at SXSW, and so we went over to check them out. However, the line was like an hour long, so we just took our free swag pillow cases and moved on.

So, while researching the Casper at home, I came across tons of other Bed-in-a-box type online mattress brands. It’s really hard to wade through all the different brands and offerings. They pretty much all offer the same sort of bed (different mixes of foam mattresses), and they all give warranties and money back guarantees of varying timelines. Sleepopolis was a lifesaver here. He has video reviews of all of these mattresses, that go over in detail everything you might want to know. After spending probably 3-4 weeks reading and watching, we decided on Brooklyn Bedding. Buying was straight forward, and I ended up paying ~700 dollars for the mattress. I also bought the sheets and pillows for some extra money. This is, I think, about average. You’re buying these things once every 10 years, 70 dollars a year seems reasonable.

Delivery was quick, but there was a snafu: The mattress was delivered to the wrong apartment. And not next door, it was literally across my entire complex. This is where I learned that Foam Mattresses are heavy. I’m still pretty upset with whatever UPS driver did that. The apartment number was on there correctly. I think it was a vindictive move.

Anyway, after the drag over to my apartment, I open the box, unwrap the plastic, and let the thing expand. It was a dream to sleep on the first night. I never believed I would feel so good getting out of bed. They give you 100 days to try the mattress out, and they do recommend you give it a few weeks, as your body needs time to get used to the new feel. I was hooked on day 1.

The only hitch about buying a mattress online is the removal of your old mattress. The brick and mortar stores usually offer to remove your old mattress free on delivery of the new one. Not so with mattresses online, and getting a mattress removed is kinda pricey, in the 100-150 dollar range. If I owned a truck and had a friend I probably could have done it myself, but alas, those things escape me. Such is life.

It’s been a year, and I’m still happy with my choice. Buying a mattress online is the way to go. Just do your research, and it’ll be a good purchase. Also, don’t remove your old mattress right away. You have 100 days to decide whether you like the old one, however, if you end up wanting something different, they will remove it, and you’ll be stuck with nothing to sleep on. Fair warning.