Sometimes a Rose is a Rose: Buck Mason

I want to let you all know that I’m writing this hopped up on Chaga and Lion’s Mane right now. I’ll get into why next article. But if things get a little weird, that might be why.

This guy might also be on some Lion’s Mane. He’s also wearing a shirt I bought.

I’ve stated this before, but I’m a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy. I don’t like thinking much about what I’m going to wear each day, or how it looks on me. I know t-shirts and jeans look fine, so I stick with that look. Some others take this sort of attitude to the extreme (see: Steve Jobs and the black turtleneck), and I don’t fault them for it; less time thinking about what to wear in the morning gets you on to bigger and better things.

However, the drawback is I never quite know when to replace my t-shirts and/or jeans. Earlier on in the life of this blog I explained I was down to 3 pairs of jeans, because I hadn’t replaced any of the jeans that had worn crotch holes, that I was forced to rid myself of. I have a similar issue with t-shirts: I have some shirts that are over 10 years old, that I still wear regularly. I’m not sure that I should.

I have shirts with bleach stains, and others with holes in the collar. I say that I’ll use them as gym shirts, but I don’t go to the gym often enough for that sort of promise. I even have a shirt with a full body shot of Jared Padalecki. You probably think I’m joking.


But now that I’ve realized the issue, I can take steps to solve it. I’m not getting rid of this particular shirt (it’s got some sentimental value), but some of the others? To the Facebook ads!

I bought a shirt off Mack Weldon that I really liked a few months back. I didn’t write about it, because I had already done a Mack article, and it was too soon to start repeating myself. When I saw the ad for Buck Mason, I was like “2 named 3 syllable clothing company? Ooooh tell me more”. Then the Advertisement said “The Softest Shirt Ever!”, and I said “that’s a pretty big claim, Buck-o. I’ve had some seriously soft shirts in my day”. And at that point my credit card was already out, because I either need the softest shirt ever, or to be disappointed. How else does one sleep?

Buck Mason has a large array of options, but it’s pretty easy to find your way through. I knew I wanted t-shirts, so I went there and found the shirt they were advertising. I actually bought 2 different styles: the Crew Neck “Slub” Tee, at $28, and the aforementioned “softest” “Pacific Costa” Crew Tee at $42 dollars. Shipping was $5.
So, 42 dollars is a lot for a t-shirt. It isn’t branded, it’s a completely flat color, with no pattern or even a logo anywhere. 28 dollars is a little more on the nose. Either way, I bought them, because I needed to know what the softest shirt ever felt like. I want to be draped in velvet, if that were socially acceptable.

A guy who is obviously not me wearing the softest shirt ever. Note that he is not, in fact, draped in velvet.

The shirts came a few days later. Normal shipping, nothing special. I tried the shirts on, and at first I kinda hated them, but they were all creased and wrinkled from the shipping. Once washed, they fit nicely, and they are currently hanging in my closet. I gave an older shirt to my dog to lay on. She peed on it a few days later.

So, I know you’re asking in your head: “How was it? How was the softest shirt ever??”. It was just a shirt, dude. I think they’re going a little overboard on the softest ever piece: I’ve had softer shirts. Maybe it’s the softest one they’ve ever sold, I don’t know how they’re qualifying “ever”. For $75 dollars, I probably overpaid significantly for the shirts. But…I mean they’re still in the closet, I’m not going to return them. I like them.



Like, just, what…:Birddogs


I consider Eminem a contemporary of mine. I don’t know him or anything, but just looking at the way our lives have progressed, we’re definitely following a similar timeline. “Oh ho!”, you scoff, “What could you and Marshall Mathers possibly have in common?”. Well, first, who says “Oh ho!”? What is this, Victorian England? Are you going to rattle on about the new-fangled steam engines next? That’s weird. You’re weird.

Second, we’ve got a lot in common. We’re both working hard every day to improve the rap game. He may have a bit of a leg up at the moment, but I’m dropping flows everyday in my bathroom mirror, just trying to make it work. It’s basically 8 Mile set in a middle class apartment in Austin, TX. But probably the biggest thing we have in common is neither of us have been Cleaning Out Our Closets since the early 2000’s.

Closet cleaning is a ton of tiny, agonizing decisions. “Am I going to wear this shirt again?” is a hard question to answer. Sometimes you have to be hard on yourself: you know that swirly spotted button down never looked good on you, and was never in fashion. But you bought it and therefore telling yourself to get rid of it is ultimately an affront to your character. Saying “those pants don’t fit anymore” is either giving up on your fitness goals or taking a risk that you won’t give up later. “Yeah it’s ripped and faded but I still wear it”…now you’re just being cheap.

And then once you’re done, you realize how little you actually had. I thought I was good on gym shorts (as, until recently, I didn’t actually go to the gym), but once I got rid of the ones that don’t fit and were horribly torn, I was down to one pair. Rewearing the same gym shorts every day might be illegal in some countries. So, it was to the internet to find some new ones.

I was originally going to get shorts from Mack Weldon, who I have reviewed before. Their products are high quality, but in the name of new experiences (and new blog posts), I decided to hit Facebook and look for an ad. The first site I came across was Birddogs. I didn’t know what I was getting into.


This is the front page I was greeted with. I was in: finally a pair of gym shorts with a sense of humor.

Browsing through the “shorts” section, The shorts are all pretty much the same style, in different color combinations. Many are in short supply, with ship dates in the future or limited sizing available. These are clearly labeled, which is awesome, and much better than finding out after you order, ahem. One of the best parts about these shorts is you can order them in 3 different lengths. As a tall guy, the tendency towards shorter shorts in today’s styles has left me in some weird spots. Those shorts that end at your mid-thigh are covering my legs just past the ass. It’s embarrassing.

I chose the longest length in the “Chester Copperpotts” (The names are all ridiculous. The whole site is ridiculous). This ran me around $55 plus tax. This is about mid-range for gym shorts, I’ve found. The cheapest gym shorts at Dick’s is about $25, Lu Lu Lemon shorts are $70-80. The shorts arrived later that week. And that’s where things get a bit weirder. As I opened the box, I see this:


And that is fucking hilarious. And then I kept opening the box.


The inside has these ridiculous reviews. My favorite was on the right in this picture: “Hey guys I’m still waiting on shorts I ordered in Summer 2016. Each time I call they say they are literally shipping out next week”. I didn’t post all of them, just in case you want to be surprised by these reviews when you order yours.

The shorts themselves are pretty great. They have a liner, which I wasn’t quite expecting but is nice on the jibblies while running. The draw string is pre-crossed (I’m not sure how to describe this), so tightening the shorts doesn’t bunch up the waistband, though it’s a little weird tying them if you’re not used to it (you don’t need to do the first cross and pull of a bow knot: it’s done for you). The normal pockets are a good size for a large phone, and there’s also 2 zipper pockets for keeping your wallet or a small set of keys safe. These are perfect. Your wallet won’t be bouncing around when you are: it’s kept secure and tight close to your hip.

Overall: if you’re looking for shorts, I recommend these ones. I’ll probably pick up another pair sometime soon.

One more thing: The blog on follows along with the rest of the advertising: it’s absurd and doesn’t really follow along with trying to sell gym shorts. Give it a read, you might enjoy it.